YOU NOT ME™ Mindset

How to create immediate significance and success.

Who do you play for?

The most life changing mindset any of us can ever learn is that we are a part of something greater and larger than ourselves. You represent and impact more than just your own life. You can be significant if you choose, regardless of your circumstances. Far too many of us have either forgotten this, never had our eyes opened to this, or just simply don’t care and then we live our lives according to the mindset that “I am all that matters.” Whether you like it or not, life exists in community and from birth we need others to function and survive in a healthy way. Living a singularly focused life and not caring how you affect others may provide some sort of happiness, but it is only short lived and normally leads to a lack of long term success and happiness. There is a reason solitary confinement was used as a punishment versus a reward and yet many of us choose, knowingly or unknowingly, to go down that path not noticing, caring, or interacting with others. Interactions with other people matter, relationships matter. You must understand this, if you are a part of something that has other people involved, relationships matter! The quality of your relationships will impact you even greater than your circumstances. This is why people that seemingly have everything the world could offer, but have chosen to trample people in a win at all cost manner, are the most unhappy people in the world…they forgot that relationships along the way are just as important as the end achievement. I would actually argue that they are the most important part of the journey because once they reach the pinnacle they so desperately wanted, they look around and no one is there for them to share it with, no one even cares and is ready to watch them fall. They thought everything they achieved would finally fulfill what their heart was chasing after but actually it ended up leaving an emptiness that they couldn’t fulfill with things. Relationships matter!

Whether you are a part of a team, a company, a school, a family, or even just going about your day in your community, you have a choice to live from a proactive mindset or reactive mindset in each and every interaction. You choose whether relationships do or don’t matter and the outcomes in your life will reflect that choice. I want you to ask yourself this question, “Is the boat better because I am on it?” Is your team, company, school, family, or community better because you are a part of it, or would it be better if you weren’t a part of it at all? This can be a hard question to ask, and the answer you come up with may be even harder to swallow, but it is one that must be reflected upon honestly. This can be truly life changing. The answer will give you a glimpse into whether your future life will exceed expectations leading to extraordinary significance, success, and joy…or if you will fall far short of your potential and end up being heartbroken, bitter, and lonely. I hope reading this opens your eyes to the fact that relationships matter, but if we are honest, people and relationships can be very complex and hard to navigate…until now. I have reduced relationships to the simplest form possible so it is easy to be consistent in our proactive mindset. There are basically two opposing mindsets that we work from. We are not always 100% one or the other, sometimes we are a mix, and sometimes we operate differently at work versus our personal life. All you have to remember are three words, but the order that they are placed has a huge impact and can be life giving or life taking. The people who are the most significant, successful, and joy filled in life are consistent in every aspect of their life and choose to live one of the two mindsets. Which one do you most often choose to operate from and how has that turned out for you?

ME NOT YOU Mindset – you are basically making decisions saying it is all about me, not you.

or

YOU NOT ME Mindset – you are basically making decisions saying it is all about you, not me.

Three words in a slightly different order yield two drastically different outcomes in life. You put yourself above others, or you put others above yourself. Both your professional and personal life will never be impacted more once you understand this and choose which mindset you walk through life with. Relationships matter! I chose and I have never looked back because of the significance, success, and joy that came from it. I will break this down in depth over the next few blogs, but in the meantime I want you to think about this, let it sink in, reflect on which way you have been choosing and how it has turned out. The great thing in life is that it doesn’t as much matter where you have been and what you have done, you can’t change that, what matters most is the direction in which you are now headed. You can make a new choice! We all have things in our past that we wish we could have the opportunity back to make a different choice, but as a great mentor of mine pointed out to me, Bono and U2 in one of their songs said, “I did what I did until love came to town.” We did what we did until we knew differently, until our eyes, heart, and mind were opened up to what could be and the life we have been missing out on. Now is the time, now is the moment we stop reacting to the world around us and how we are treated and start living with a proactive mindset where we choose to make a difference to change the world one interaction at a time. Choose to make others an important part of your decision making and you will be significant, you will be successful, and you will be filled with joy beyond measure!

Thank you so much for reading, it is an honor to have your time! I hope something in this piece resonated with you and helped shift your mindset. If it did, please share it with friends that could benefit from it and would want to join our movement to change the world around you by focusing on YOU NOT ME.

-Chris